paulbaines - byron hurt weights in

|SAdministrator |2009-04-28 08:20:16

i originally read this in Voice Male (linked off mascmag) but now it\'s come up on-line:
http://thedailyvoice.com/voice/2009/03/top-10-list-of-lame-excuses-me-001701
byron hurt (film maker and gender educator) gives us Top 10 Lame Excuses Men Make to Justify Violence Against Women.
great post.

paulbaines - 5 myths about talking about domestic abuse

|SAdministrator |2009-03-15 14:08:13

just got a facebook link on the 5 ways we (and the media) are mistaken when we talk about domestic abuse.
the author uses the Rihanna-Brown case as a springboard, but dives deep into the issue. i think it's worth reading:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/188353

Tam Tam - pro bro

|99.233.133.xxx |2009-03-02 18:48:07

I thought it was pretty rad that my big brother was gonna be on much music and since I don't have a T.V., I was very excited to watch the recording at my parents house. I have to agree with Paul that Tuval is one of the heros of the show, (and one of my heros in general) he always brought the issues back to the heart of the matter, as one of the experts he didn't sound overly academic but made the material easily accessible to all people. I think anyone who was watching the show would have learned a thing or two from your articulate and wise words.

I also wanted to comment that while I agree that men should ask why they are in a relationship with some one who pushes there buttons, we must remember that abuse is about power and control. People who are abusive, are not usually just abusive in one relationship, but it is often a pattern that occurs in all their relationships. None the less Tuval's suggestion of self reflection is an important one that could help abusers to come forward and seek help!

Tuval you should try out for the next VJ search (if they still have those) and bring the cool back to much music!! (It hasn't been the same since Sook Yin and Master T left!)

paulbaines - watch for yourself

|99.233.133.xxx |2009-02-27 04:52:07

you can now watch the episode on Much at:
http://www.muchmusic.com/tv/specials/muchtalks/lovegonewrong/

just a few observations of mine:
- i don't watch much tv but the way the show is formatted (sound bites, background music, camera moves) i felt really tense watching it - kind of a like a car race with a small child wandering close to the track. i don't think thoughtfulness and tension are a good mix.
- the show asks simple questions that both distract from the roots of the issue, but allow the guests to jump in and try their best get beyond the glossy talk - such as:
.....how will this violence affect each of their careers?
.....what makes it hard for women to leave abusive relationships?
.....what are the warning signs you are in an abusive relationship?
......should the photo of a battered rihanna been released to the public?
......are more self-defense tactics needed by women?

missing for me was more responses from the guys in the studio. if male violence against women is not just a 'women's' issue, then the producers of these shows need to structure in a little window for men to reflect and speak up about the mens' actions, rather than womens'.

tuval calls this out and is one of the heroes of the show. in response to a discussion about rihanna pushing her boyfriend's buttons and maybe deserving violence, tuval asks guys to check-in with themselves when their button's are being pressed and ask themselves "why am i in this relationship?"

lastly, tuval calls out the difficulty people have accepting this allegation of violence by chris brown because he's not the stereotypical 'tough guy'. browns' softer masculinity opens up difficult realities about the scope and denial about male violence and violent performances of masculinity.

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