One Saturday my girlfriend and hooked up with a group of friends to see a popular DJ. Inside the packed club, the music was pumping and the dance floor was a sea of sweaty gyrating bodies. I was never much for crowds so before long I headed for higher ground. I grabbed a drink from the bar and retired to a vacant barstool.

So there I was just minding my own business when Sasha, a member of our posse, spotted me sitting alone. Like so many gay men Sasha has the sculpted physique of someone who spends too many hours in the gym. I tried to resist as he dragged me back on to the dance floor. It was no use; he was bigger than me.

I was half heartedly getting down when the song ended. Suddenly, Sasha took hold of my arm and pulled me towards him, then in the same fluid movement he launched me forcefully backwards off my feet. In slow motion I fell through the air, but just as I was about to hit the ground he caught me in his arms

There I was suspended inches from the beer sodden floor held aloft in a man's embrace. My body stiffened and my face was flush with embarrassment; I was vulnerable and completely uncomfortable. Sensing my uneasiness, Sasha smiled down at me his eyes sparkling with mischievous delight. I tried to act nonchalant and even managed a weak chuckle, but he had taken me completely by surprise; I had never been dipped before.

That moment has always stuck with me. I wondered why I had felt so uncomfortable. Was I afraid that this contact would release some dormant homosexual urge? Was I worried that this proximity to a gay man would somehow cause his homosexuality to trickle into me? It didn't. As for as I know homosexuality isn't contagious and that embrace didn't prompt me to "make the switch and dump the bitch" as I've heard some recently outed gay men say. That night I went home with my girlfriend as I have every night for the ten years that have followed.

However, that simple dance move made me realise how unaccustomed I was to having physical contact with another man. See I grew up in a tough suburban town, a blue collar city famous for cars and hockey players. Where I come from guys didn't touch each other; unless of course the aim was to cause injury. (That rule doesn't apply to men who play sports. For some reason it is perfectly acceptable to pat each others rear ends and to partake in group hugs during the game, but off the pitch this behaviour is considered "gay.")

Once I recognized that I had been conditioned to avoid physical affection from members of my own sex, I was able to unlearn my conditioned responses and cultivate new behaviours. From that day forward I sought out every opportunity to wrap my arms around my fellow man. I have since been on the receiving end of serious snuggles with my closest male friends.

Still many men in our society have a huge hug hang up. It's a shame. In this age of social disconnectivity we need all the love we can get. Thankfully those illuminated among us are spreading the word. Affectionate souls such as Spearhead's Michael Franti are opening up their hearts and arms to lead the charge. He encourages his audience to join in post-show group hugs. All around the world people are taking to the street armed with cardboard signs pasted with the slogan "Free Hugs" to offer embraces to strangers in public spaces as part of the global Free Hug Campaign.

Listen, I'm not saying that everyman should immediately go home and surprise their father with a warm embrace. That type of behaviour could cause serious injury. Start slow. Start with strangers, than acquaintances, and then finally bring it home to your family. But trust me, if you can become comfortable in the embrace of a kind and strong man, your life will change for the better.

Words by: Lonny Knapp

A Toronto-based Freelance Writer