3 out of 36. That’s how many men were in the 2007 Yoga Development Course. I was one of them. We were told that this was a fairly normal ratio. The Yoga development Course (YDC) involves a lot of stretching, writing about our life experiences and beliefs and then sharing them in a big group. I always thought this was a more ‘woman’ thing to do. I guess I wasn’t the only one to think that way. Needless to say, I learned a lot about my feminine side. But this yogic path has really allowed me to get to know my masculine side too.

On the surface Yasodhara Ashram is a very feminine place: visitors are greeted by statues of female deities, the number of women are always greater than men, a woman is the spiritual director, the yoga is very gentle and intuitive, and even the land seems to hold you in a way a nursing mother would. Yoga is a sanskrit word commonly translated as “union” or “to yoke”. We all contain within us the masculine and the feminine: both sides offering their tools and their limitations. Both are needed. In yoga, the practitioner is asked to bring these two sides together in the service of connecting to one’s soul or inner light.

I spent almost 2 years living at Yasodhara Ashram. Needless to say, I couldn’t help but feel like I had lost contact with my masculine side. I felt more loving of myself, more gentle with others, and more connected to nature. I loved the fact that I had cultivated my feminine side, but something was missing.

I left the ashram for Ottawa to teach yoga to youth at risk through the Radha Yoga Youth Outreach program. The work was very inspiring but also quite draining. Long bus rides, late classes, and not too many men in my life all added up to me feeling vulnerable, soft, even under attack from some hidden force. This was a force I was all to familiar with, it was that of my own negativity, judgement and self loathing. At times this force would come by surprise, at other times I could see it coming (thanks to my yogic vision). No matter how I looked at it, I felt like I was at the centre of a battle. And in the midst of the wreckage that was becoming my mind, an epiphany occurred: I had to fight. I had to fight for my own happiness and self worth. This is when I realized that I had to be a warrior.

Last Spring I began teaching yoga to boys in a detention centre. These were boys who had committed theft, murder, and other serious crimes. I wanted to share the self-love and inner peace I had cultivated within myself. My warrior was necessary to stand in front of ‘criminals’ and open my heart to them. I told them stories that made me vulnerable: I put myself out there. This was met with deep appreciation. The boys would ask about how to calm there minds. Some even put into words their desire to be able to love themselves. For teenage boys that society has all but given up on, these were major victories. I am very proud of those guys and also very grateful. They are proof to me that no one is inherently evil: they were all good kids that had made poor choices.

In doing this work I have had to search for a community of men with which to draw support from. During my time at the ashram I was lucky to meet many other young men who were drawn to spiritual teachings. Since the Spring of 2009 we have been meeting every few weeks to support each other. The only catch is that we live in as many as 4 time zones. We use video conferencing to get together. We were all surprised to find that video conferencing felt intimate enough for us to share what we were going through.

I can’t tell you how important it has been for me to find other men who want to develop both their masculine and feminine sides in service of creating more peace in their lives. We are able to be soft yet direct each other, supportive yet real, attentive yet encouraging. Taking part in this on-line men’s group continues to inspire me and fill me with hope that loving, supportive and honest relationships with other men are possible.

I am starting a weekly men’s reflection group in Toronto this Winter with the hope of attracting men ‘new’ to the practices of self-acceptance, reflection, meditation, and honest communication. I want to invite other men to join me on this journey of self-discovery because it has given me so much meaning and purpose. If you live in Toronto and are interested, please contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with the subject ‘men’s group’.

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Michael is currently studying Creativity, Wellness, and Embodied Learning at OISE, U of T. He also teaches yoga to youth deemed 'at risk'. He hopes that the education system will one day encourage their students to seek wholeness rather than simple material success.