I recently repeated my following of Carlos Andres Gomez when he performed in Toronto the other week, thanks to the Ryerson White Ribbon Campaign. I meant to do an audio interview with him for MASC, but we ended up going to a cheery bar afterwards for a long chat.  Question: Story: Detail: Laugh: Drink: Share: Story: Eat: Wonder: Story: Pay: and before I knew it the night was over and I never pulled out the mic. So I sent Carlos my questions and he kindly replied. At the end of this post he tells us when he's back in Toronto again (hint: real soon).

MASC: What experience(s) did you have that gave you more permission, power, or curiosity for swimming against the stream when it comes to stories about being/becoming a man?

Carlos: Being a loner most of my life, as a result of moving constantly growing up and always feeling out of place, was huge for me challenging the status quo in general. I never really felt like I had peers to impress or fit in with, so I kind of did what I felt doing a lot. I’ve also always had a real anti-authoritarian streak in me, which I'm sure contributed to "swimming against the stream."

MASC: In your poem "Vitruvius" you talk about the measure and confines of being a man. you write "we care so much sometimes as men, we lash out / and throw punches at the air". While you have some words for Leonardo da Venci about freeing men from the dimensions of masculinity -- what words do you have for our readers as some men are struggling to break free from boxed-in and discounted versions of themselves?

Carlos: My two cents is this: stop trying to be anything or anyone. Don't worry about who you are – and just be. I know it might sound corny but it's amazing what a little self-observation and curiosity about the world will do. Often times with guys, I know with myself especially, I've felt pressure at different points to be a certain kind of man or person; only when I stopped trying to fit that mold did I really discover what was inside of me.

Take it another step further - try something that’s completely out of your comfort zone and see what comes up inside. If you always do one thing, try doing something else and see how you and everyone around you reacts. For example, take a ballet class or try ballroom dancing…or if you’re really brave – do improv. And when your friends look at you like you're nuts, just say "Like Walt Whitman said, 'I am a large, I contain multitudes.'" Have that be your anthem in life.

MASC: I've seen you perform twice now in Toronto where you perform a couple of pieces and then weave in discussion and more performances -- tying and testing everyone's experiences into an instant community. What does this format say about you and the power of poetry and people?

Carlos: To me all art is about that connection in the moment. It’s about weaving a real time web between strangers in a room. Anything that’s ever really connected with me has been simultaneously passionate, provocative, and Socratic – so I try to do the same each time I do a show. When we’re each held to a high bar, we meet it. Unfortunately though, too often art doesn’t respect us enough to really challenge and push, so the greatness is never unveiled.

MASC: From your perspective, is there anything going on in popular culture (movies, musicians, tv shows) that gives you hope for newer, healthier, and more positive stories and representations of masculinity?

Carlos: In popular culture, off-hand, I can’t think of too many things that give me hope for a broader spectrum of masculinity being accepted and celebrated in the world. Things that may seem to push those boundaries, on the surface, often times caricaturize or tokenize a given experience in a way that makes it plain buffoonery. However, there are visible people and organizations doing amazing work on a big stage that give me great hope. Endeavors like Masc Magazine and a global initiative called the Man Up Campaign recently launched by Jimmie Briggs in New York and, of course, the amazing work Jeff Perera at Ryerson University has been doing with the White Ribbon Campaign. There are so many men out there doing the difficult and important work that needs to be done. Not too many though are getting there own show on CBS.

MASC: Out of all the stories I've heard you tell in and between your poetry, the one where you drop 4 tears while taking a stand in a scene of violence always gets me thinking. What's your opinion about men's emotional connectedness/ literacy and both the consequences and opportunities for emotionally exposing themselves in public?

Carlos: I think most men are completely emotionally illiterate. It’s the root cause of so many of the breakdowns that happen with and between men. Until we repair that relationship within ourselves and truly recognize both our vulnerability and sensitivity, we will never be fully human to ourselves. Never fully recognize the humanity within us.

MASC: When are you in Toronto again?

Carlos: I will be performing at the Toronto Centre of the Arts for an event called One Mic, hosted by Dwayne Morgan, at 9pm on Friday, April 9th. Tickets are available through Ticketmaster.

****

Paul is a media educator on social and environmental issues and a media maker who sometimes feels awkward turning on the microphone at a bar.