All right, Paul. I’ll bite. I saw I Love You, Man on an airplane recently and thought it was OK. More of a smiler than a laugher, but who wants to burst out laughing in a cabin full of strangers, anyway. Paul Rudd is characteristically adorable as sensitive Peter and Rashida Jones is refreshing as his smart, independent girlfriend, Zooey.  But yes, the film also happens to be inherently—and sometimes brazenly—homophobic.

Here’s the plot: Peter and Zooey are getting married but Peter doesn’t have a best man for the wedding. Turns out Peter isn’t much of a “guy’s guy” and lacks any close male friends. So he goes on a series of “man dates,” eventually meets Sydney (played by an oafish yet charming Jason Segal), and “bromance” blooms.

The film rests on a simple yet problematic premise: that a man needs male friends in order be a “real man.” It would seem to follow that these friends must themselves be “real men” who mutually validate and reinforce each other’s manliness. In this case, Sydney is the more manly man, a womanizing, booze-loving, video-game playing Homer Simpson to Peter’s Ned Flanders.  The question is whether Sydney would be considered best man material if he were more effeminate or, dare I say, homosexual.

And the answer, it appears, is a decisive “no.” That’s because Peter already has a de facto best man— his openly gay brother Robbie, played by smirking Saturday Night Live star Andy Samberg. Apparently, Robbie and Peter aren’t particularly close, but they seem to get along well enough and it’s Robbie who patiently coaches Peter through his man dates. But, oddly enough, no one suggests that Peter’s own brother should be the best man at his wedding.

That’s not the only thing troubling about Samberg’s character. A running joke throughout the film is that, of the two brothers, Robbie is the stereotypical frat-boy type. He pumps iron, wears baseball caps, is best buds with their blue-collar Dad. In other words, you’d never guess he was the gay one. Is this supposed irony meant to quash stereotypes about homosexuality, or reinforce just how much of a sissy Peter really is? ("Wow, he’s even gayer than his gay brother!")

I’m willing to give the filmmakers the benefit of the doubt on this one (I’m generous like that). Sorry climate change, but I think the fight against homophobia is the defining issue of our generation.  As Paul says, it’s time to call it out. If we need a character as outrageous as Bruno to take a hard look (and laugh) at ourselves, so be it. And if we need a silly term like “bromance,” and a film as self-conscious as I Love You, Man for guys to feel comfortable being affectionate with each other, that’s OK too.

*****

Dan Levy is a writer, editor and former youth educator based in Montreal.