In my last post, I took it upon myself to "defend" Entourage, the HBO show filled with frat-boy humour, superficial plot lines and, I argued, meaningful male introspection. Now, I'd like to champion another controversial component of male culture: teasing.

I'm not the first to argue in defense of teasing. Last year, psychology prof and author Dacher Keltner penned a provocative piece in the New York Times that challenged the "zero tolerance" attitude toward teasing in American schools and society. Keltner argued that playful teasing has been unjustly caught in the wide net cast against bullying, teasing's cruder, corrosive cousin. "By contrast," he wrote, "teasing is a mode of play, no doubt with a sharp edge, in which we provoke to negotiate life's ambiguities and conflicts. And it is essential to making us fully human."

We tease to flirt. We tease to make friends. We tease each other to explore our own failings and foibles. When the boys in Entourage rag on and wrestle with each other, they do it to show that they care. It's not that hugs and encouragement are effeminate--it's that they're boring. Boys tease girls in the schoolyard because it works. The silver-tongued teaser is witty, ballsy and shrewd. Nice guys finish last because being "nice" (which is different from being good or moral or honest) doesn't take much imagination.

The rules of the schoolyard apply through life. In pickup artist parlance, an artful tease is called a "neg." When approaching a woman, the theory goes, earnest men fall on their faces with lines like "Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful are?" or "Do you come here often?" Not only do these lines demonstrate a creative dearth, but they immediately scream, "I'm hitting on you" which causes women to put up their guards. Instead, men are advised to deliver a neg, by saying something like, "I didn't realize those boots were still in style." The idea is not to damage the self-woman's confidence (As critics usually have it) but to momentarily disqualify yourself as a suitor, while establishing a more natural, playful rapport.

I was not a born teaser. I was kid in the schoolyard who stood back as his bolder, brasher friends wooed the girls away from their jacks. When the guys in gym class trash-talked each other, I just blushed. It wasn't until my early twenties that I learned the best way to neutralize a bully, earn the respect of your peers and avoid self-pity is to laugh at yourself. Self-deprecation, after all, is just teasing turned inward.

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Dan Levy is a writer and editor in Montreal. He blogs sporadically at danjlevy.wordpress.com